Fate

Do I believe in fate?

In those million colourless lines crossing my palm?

The sudden co-incidents that stop me in my tracks?

Or when people shake their head at absurd happenings

Do I believe there was some higher power responsible for it?

I carved my life

Shaped my dreams

Lived my hopes

Or was there someone else doing it all the time?

Is the pride I feel not mine?

The joy, does it belong to the faceless spirit?

The reality I wake up to everyday

Is perhaps only but a dream…

Love... Or was it?

I don't know if I loved you

If the 3 am calls were love or fun
Or just a rebellion against early sleeping
If the flowers were love or expectations fulfilled
Or just proving our superiority over nature
If the kisses were love or a mere satisfaction of lust
Or just something couples do under trees, in parks...

Were the dreams we shared love?
Or just a way to kill those lonely hours?
Were the secrets we shared love?
Or just a way to unburden our souls?
Were the endless 'Love You's love?
Or just a solace for our insane hearts?

For isn't love supposed to be forever?
Through the ages, lives and the seven seas?
Through the joy and pain
Through the thick and thin and even fat?
Love doesn't disappear, does it?
It still resides in a hollow heart...

But I don't love you anymore
Your name doesn't bring a smile to my face
Nor do your memories make me wistful
I do not feel a searing pain
Nor do I wish to run back to you
Ask you to hold me forever again

A habit you were
An addiction stronger than any drug
A part of life I was used to
A limb, just there, joined to me
You conquered my brain, not soul
A forgotten habit you now remain...

If you love someone, set them free
If they return, they're yours
If they don't, they never were
I thought I loved you
And so I set myself free
Never to return...

Moonshine

The moonshine glistened
Against the the darkened night
The red swirling, tempting
As she moistened her charcoal lips
Heightened ecstasy
Blurry senses
Moonshine mingled with blood
Fairy dust twinkling against
The deep deep blue sky
Quickened beats
Slurry words
As she spread her arms
And flew, free at last...

My Dream Woman

I stood by the pictures, watched her paint
A little shadow here, a splash of colour
The muted light cast a mellow glow
Her fingers as they deftly moved
Biting her bottom lip, lost in thought
Bhavya, the ink on the placard spelled
I stood beside her, watching her work
The colours along with light as they moved
Casting images, creating illusions
The brushes dipped in paint sang my symphony
The dirtied, swirling water mirrored my random feelings
I stood by her side how long I know not
She continued her work, lost in thought
I slowly walked away, the exhibition ended
And as I rode home on my horse
The black mane dancing, long tail swishing
I thought of her riding by my side
A stranger she was, my unsung poem
Touching my heart, with her colourful tools
I knew not if I'll ever see her again
To praise her, to know her, to see her paint
Dejected I awoke from my deep slumber
Wondering if I see her, do I be spooked or do I rejoice
For she'd then be my dream woman who just came to life...

Coz You’re The One!

You’re the chocolate I crave during my PMS

You’re the Ol’ Monk I want in my deepest hour

You’re the croaking frog I hear after the first slushy shower

You’re the Combiflam I need when in greatest pain

You’re the crutches that I require to simply walk again

You’re the battered old phone I keep by my side always

You’re the crumpled, torn note I find in my jeans

You’re the first septic piercing I got during my teens

You’re the smelly dried rose I hide in my book

You’re the Apple Pie I never really learnt to cook

You’re simply The One who helps me lead life by…

The Modern Draupadi

The thirteenth time

He broke my heart

Copious tears I shed

I raved and ranted

And cursed the world

And hurled brick-bats

Heaven-ward...

Frustrated and furious

At my accusations

The Lord rose from his abode

Seething, stood before me

“What do you want child?

Who do want tell me

And it is him

You shall have!”

Dumbstruck at the turn of fate,

A yelp of joy I suddenly gave

And launched into my Mr. Perfect list

“Kind and sweet

Helpful and understanding

Trustworthy enough

With my eyes shut tight...

Someone who can read my words

And read between all the lines

Who hugs me when I say I'm cold

Not leave a blanket by my side

Not someone

Who promises the moon

But holding hands

He gazes at the horizon with me...

Who envelops me in bear-hugs

And lightly kisses

My fears good-night

Who cuddles me all night long

And talks to me about everything

Someone I call at 3 in the night

To soothe my nightmare,

Lull me to sleep...

The Big Bang Theory he explains

And cracks jokes

Better than Chandler does...

Who brags about me

To his friends

And whacks any jerk

Who messes with me...

Who's the perfect lover

Father, Brother and friend

And loves my dad

Like his family

Who let's me win

When I'm low

And knows when I need

My fair game...

Surprises me with tiny gestures

Whispers sweet nothings

Holds my hand, kisses my head

Gives me chocolate when I PMS

Creates Awww moments

And makes me go oooh!

Loves me with a passion

Nothing subdued...

Travels the world with me

Yet knows when I need my space...”

Blah... blah... blah...

I continued on and on...

Eye closed, concentrating,

Pacing back and forth...

After minutes maybe

(Or days they were?)

I opened my eyes

Baffled to see a bald Lord

Wring his hands...

Ganesh as he sat on the floor

The second tooth broken

Banana leaves weighed down

By an epic longer than

Mahabharata maybe...

I looked at the Lord

Who stared back

Wondering what had he unleashed....

I shook my head

Gave a tiny shrug

And told him,

“Just let it be..

Perhaps... Maybe...

I'm just the Modern Draupadi...”

Life

Passing by the roadway

I saw a man lying

Bleeding and stricken

A family shrouded, crying...

Blood pooled around

Seeping through black robes

No more alone the man

A family reddened and dying...

I passed them by

I banged the window pane

I heard the soothing lullabies

And grew up to write the pain...

Standing in the house of God

I heard a kitten cry

Mangled and torn

The cat prayed for dying...

Mews carried inside

The sermon raged on

The life slowly seeped out

A mother's dream dying...

I sang the hymns

I stood and praised the Lord

I listened to the choir sing

And woke up screaming in the night...

Standing by my bedside an Angel

I saw Lucifer strike out

White hot fury ripped me

A scream for freedom let out

Voices cried in my head

The Angel's halo soothed

Lucifer raised his mantle again

Life I praised crying

I heard my screams

I sang my songs

I saw Lucifer and Angel smile

And slept off in the burning feather bed...